Hiiii My TiffyBoes ....
Sorry for my last blog , i know its little bit dirty. But , yeah i'm really feel very bad right now. I dont know what happened and my life is very awful. People who dont know what i'm feel right now will think that my life is very good. But its not. This Year , my life is very complicated. So many unexpected things happen.
And My love story doesnt good enough too. I have a relationship with a guy but yeah its doesnt stay long. Maybe some of you will be suprise with my statement. But yeah its true. i Love him so much more than my life. Im so crazy in love with him. I do everything for him ,but he doesnt care. Altough , he was my boyfriend , in the bottom of my heart , i know that he never love me. He just want me from the outside not from the inside of my heart. He think that i'm not worth it and can play me easily. And Then , i have broken heart and i just tried to recover that. I try to forget him many times . Because its not easy to forget all great things that u have done with him and after that u know that he never love you. He love your bestfriend not you. And u must try to cheer up and give a fake smile. Its really hard . Its the same like everything that u have in your life was gone.
I Need to forget him in 1 year. I Cry alot and in that time , i really want to died. I Cant live again without him. But i know that i cant do that. I Cant kill my self , i must live. I must stay alive. That is the hardest time in my life. I never worried about my life but i worried about losing him. I know i'm not the best girl in the world but i know that i love him so much. All i know just that. Everytime i see him , or his eyes , i feel that love come to me. A love that never die. He is my first love and always will be. I Wont forget him because he is my soulmate. Altough he always with another girl and think about another girl, i dont care because if he happy and i will be happy too. After A uphill battle in my heart, finally i can forget him. And i met someone. I Like him not love. But because, he is not suitable for me , i decided to forget him and find somone else. After that, i found someone else, he is like morning after dark for me. He is cool , adorable , and everything i need that time.
I Fall in love again. As u know that , if i love somone, i will love him until the end of my life. I Love him so much more thatn my life. Because i know that he is like sun for me after my ex leave me alone. That boy give me a hope for me to get him. But maybe i'm just too hurried with him. So i dont get enough close to him, i try to make him comfortable but it doesnt work. When he said that he loves someone else , i cry alot . I cant wake up and i just want to died. All my tears comes out and it doesnt stop altough i want to stop it but it cant. After that , my life is very hard. I try to forget him but if i really love someone its like a thausand year to forget someone.Its like that everything i have already gone and leave me alone. Like i'm just alone in this big whole world. And i asked to my self why this always happen to me ? why ? everyone have their own happines but why i cant get my own happines. Why someone else got it not me?.And why always me ? I always sad of love, and my tears always comes out because of a shit boys. That time i feel that i'm not worth it and i'm stupid. Because why i think that he loves me? He just loves someone else not me. This is like i hurt my self. And the ironic things is i cant tell him that i love him so much. I cant tell him that i cant breathe with him. I hate my self when i try to cheer up but inside of me i'm crying. I'm crying like a little girl. I'm stupid like an idiot. I'm sick of my self. Why everyone got everything what they want and i'm not. Everyone have their happines with their love and i'm not. I'm just crying and crying.
I asked to my self , why God never listen to me? God listen everyone in this world except me. He doesnt listen to me. Sometimes i really hate God because why he make me alive? why i'm not dead? i want died ,because i cant live with someone that i love. Someone that i care so much. Sometimes i really want to be unnormal girl, who never like guy. Because sometimes guy is like a shit. They just can say i love you but they dont know what love is. And no one that listen to me when i need them .They always busy with them self. No one that really know what i want and what i feel.
I never expect a great life . But i just want one thing in my life. I Want someone said i love you. Someone that really love me with all of his heart as i love him in my life. And we build a great relationship together. Right now , i'm searching of a new guy. And i promise that i will have a normal relationship. I dont care what people said about me esspecially bad things about me. I really dont care right now because i just have so many problems in my life.
Thanks For Reading This. All Of This is 100% True.
With Love
Tiffany HalimXx
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